Why I'm Pissed - Part 1

For awhile, my husband was addicted to methamphetamine. His addiction was a self destructive behavior that had collateral damage. Namely, me and our two sons. This addiction should have destroyed our marriage and our family. But with a lot of understanding & work - we have survived and even thrived!

The beginning of the healing started with his confession. Revealing his secret was one of the hardest things he had ever done. He thought by confessing his drug abuse, he would lose me & the boys forever. I, on the other hand, was relieved to know the truth. This revelation explained the ridiculous chaos that had taken over his life. But right then - I wasn’t sure what our future held.

It was a pivotal point in our lives …

Destruction or the beginning of a new chapter. Choices and decisions by all of us, would decide our path.

Obviously, he would have to take the lead by being pro-active in choosing to get professional help.

But if you know anyone who has abused themselves with methamphetamine, you know what master manipulators they can be. He tried the whole, “I can quit by myself,” routine.

It didn’t work with me. Because I may have been naive, but I was not stupid. Immediately he realized - it was lose absolutely everyone he treasured & held dear. Or go to rehab.

He chose rehab …

During this very bumpy and emotional time, we survived by God’s Grace. There is no other way to explain it.

Because it was a horrible time.

For me and the boys, there were feelings of anger, betrayal, disappointment, and resentment. For him, there were the same feelings compounded with guilt.

Hard as this time was - he & I learned a lot.

First - the power of forgiveness. I had to forgive him, for hurting me and our sons. He had to forgive himself, and the people who had hurt him, in his past.

Second - the fact we truly, only, have control over ourselves. As much as we would all like to delude ourselves, about the power of our influence, it does not equal control over others. Realizing this is quite freeing. It takes a lot of the stress out of life …

Which leads me to the third thing he & I learned - prioritizing.

We took an inventory of our values, hopes, dreams. Then used this information to set our goals. Goals and the necessary lifestyle changes for him to be successful with rehab.

He will always be an addict … but a recovering addict.

As of November 25th, 2008 - clean for four years.

We are enjoying this new chapter in our lives …

First Commenter - Write Purpose